The Quest for M dot

I'm sitting here at11.25pm eating a banana and a dry pancake, the left overs of my meticulously planned breakfast I forced down 18 hours ago. 2 hours ago I could barely hold onto the day any more with a deep wave of tiredness I've rarely felt before. Now I'm jolted awake with strange feelings all over my body and bouncing sore legs. I'm not sure why they are bouncing but they cannot stay still. Today I competed an Ironman 70.3 Dun Laoghaire. At the time of finishing it felt ok. Only ok. I'm not sure why or what I expected but I didn't get it. Possibly deflated. The day started at 5am with the aforementioned breakfast and porridge forced down with what turned out to be too strong coffee resulting (along with the nerves) four bouts of what I only wanted one of. So much for being worried about that. The first decision of the day; choosing the portaloos with the shortest queues. Nailed it, with still time to strap my nutrition, don the wetsuit and stroll yo the

I find it hard to keep up a blog and as with most things it down to mindset. When things are fantastic I've no time to write and when things are bad or tough well, I'm just too embarrassed or guilty. What's the point. It's sounds stupid but it's honest. The last few weeks have been tough. Life and work have been busy. The snow arrived and time was lost and excuses made. That's all normal I assume. Getting into a solid training streak is so important. And I did have one good week. But to be honest I've fallen out of love with swimming, unable to muster the energy and time to cycle and generally regretting all things triathlon. I find myself wishing I should have stuck with running and wondering what I could have achieved if I'd stuck it out. But I've made my decision and for now at least until August and the Half I'm going to have to stick to it. I've gotten a coach to make my training sessions have more purpose and direction. Also I want t

I rarely write off the cuff preferring to plan my story, carefully forming and editing in the hope of making an interesting read and generally inspiring or motivating others. But tonight is different. Ive just left the pool having completed my swim test and in doing so - my longest ever swim of 1500m. I don't always/ever live in the moment and often spend time worrying about the past and the future. Things I can't control but can't or haven't yet is probably a more positive way of putting it figured out how to manage it all. Tonight I pushed my body further that I expected I could. Ive been very worried about tonight's session. Not sleeping properly last night and following that up with a long day worrying in work today. But tonight it was worth it all. I jumped out of the pool at the end and sat on the side to catch my breath, seeing stars but managing to stay upright I got to enjoy my self-euphoria. I was tired hunger and sore but I felt an amazing sense o

I'm that person that gives out, bitches and moans about training but always always  fears not having enough done. But doesn't everyone? I'm hoping so. Then there's the guilt. It irks away at you. Why are you not training? You don't deserve to relax. You haven't earned it. You can't enjoy food. You haven't earned it. You can't watch a series on Netflix unless your on the turbo. You must suffer. I'm not sure where the guilt comes from or the purpose but it's tough mentally and probably not proactive. I know that. I should probably just train more. That would teach the guilt. After a 2 week break from the pool, one for illness, the second more logistical I returned this week and was looking forward to it. It had only been 2 weeks. Hardly enough time to lose any swimming fitness. Swimming fitness I'd really only gained over the previous 3 weeks so possibly a bit niave on my part. Monday night's session was grim but I powered throu

Tonight I went to the steam room. Stay with me, this gets more interesting. I've been once again stuck down with a viral and bacteria chest infection. Having worked through my last course of steroids and antibiotics while maintaining my swimming training along with spinning and running, it seemed something was up when I relapsed only 3 days after finishing the drugs. The drugs don't work? They fecking well do. So back to the doctor and the trusty drugs while wondering how many steroids will show up in my system come 70.3 day. If I win I'll always wonder if it was the steroids. If I win? When I win. I decided this time to knock the training on the head for a week and just focus on extra sleep and feeling better. With no work next week I have plans for extra training since time allows so best be chest fit for that. But I still couldn't stay away from the gym. It's an addiction. One that takes time to grow but once you're in the groove you really miss it.

Its been a while since I decided to go on this Ironman journey and in that time I still cant seem to spell Triathlon right most of the time. Does that mean this is not for me I should just give up? Its a sign, a sign that if you cannot spell it, you shouldnt do it. Life lesson. Its been 6 months since I've last been on a bike and I was fearing the worst when deciding to take out the trusty steed for a quick spin on Sunday. It really didn't disappoint. The parts of me I forgot how to hurt hurt. those parts were everywhere. Turns out staying consistent has advantages. The lovely burny feeling in the quads and calves returned and it was beautiful. That feeling reminds me of fitness and I visualize that as getting fitter and getting strong. Success. Not that I can count today's cycle as success but it was a start. Just the small matter of no hills and no wind on today's route and still a struggle. A low winter sun peeped over the the hedges and empty fields aimed direct