The Quest for M dot

  What became my favourite type of event a few years ago, Western Yards, run by Galway Trail Running became my favourite venue last year and this year again was better with support from IMRA. I don't claim to have done many Backyard Ultras but I've been obsessed with the format for quite a while. And I am biased being a member of GTR. The format, the strategy, the mind games (with yourself and others), the place where egos are no use. It's all internal and everyone levelled after every loop.  Everyone in so much control of how they run their race, how fast they run their loops, what nutrition they use, how they use their rest, and yet still how many leave wondering how much further they could have gone. Obviously we all claim we are happy to reach certain milestones, but sometimes these milestones are obstacles built to convince us to stop. To save ourselves. Sometimes hours of internal mental discussion, sometimes an instant switch off and its over. Then the rationalising ...

 This is a story from the past. Its the story of my first every open water triathlon experience in Lough Cutra in Galway in May 2018. And it was a car crash of epic proportions. Imagine being that guy. I was. Imagine everything going wrong. It did. Imagine how much prep you put in. I didnt. Imagine not knowing what to expect and then it being way way way worse that that. It was so grim, embarrassing and crazy somehow Ive kept it locked up inside until now. On the bright side it gave me a massive boot up the backside that was needed to actual prepare for open water swimming.  If I was to give one pice of advice, it is NOT like swimming in a pool. Do not make that mistake. And do not practise in the shower. Even when the shower is cold it is NOT like a lake in Galway. Our story starts with as per previous blogs by drive to learn to swim. This all happened in a pool firstly with swim lessons and then a triathlon coach programme including a swim session so yes I had done everythin...

 And so it starts. Or continues. The quest to do some more running. But first given the previously mentioned well timed sprained ankle, and Im feeling the usual ligamnet damage some swimming. The same ankle, weak as always and as always, again not strengthened. Previously injuried in a tragic dancing accident 2 years ago it took some many months to recover successfully and a lot of physio. This time Im skipping the physio, doing the exercises, and getting to the pool. The theory to work on the aerobic capacity if not the legs. So lets see where the swimming journey takes me and any sucess it will lead to running. Im assuming none so at least my expectations are low. Anyway since leaving Ive been just running. Life got in the way of triathalon and time was not so forgiving. So I ran. And then ra some more. In fact I ran alot but in no way any any time was I consistent, which is probably my problem. I do have an urge to always run further but I dont seem to be getting there easily. M...

 A new quest to challenge the backyard ultra process.  This is my beginning. Starting with a sprained ankle and 8 months to get right.  I've had a running history but no documentation so I'll briefly catch up in the next installment.  This is some accountability. I don't want to turn up and fail early and be convinced I did OK. I want to win. Not win the race exactly but I'd take that. But win as in be content. Not stop at a milestop. Not die on my chair and not give up my mind. This is a mental challenge. The physical stuff is easy. The nutritional is tangible. The prep is all doable. Discipline is mandatory. Turning up is mandatory. Giving up is not allowed. Updates and basic training and the journey to follow. Time to fucking focus.

Why leave anything to chance? That's what I'm wondering today. A number of reasons I've gotten to this thinking and writing it down means I need to do something about it. I need to understand the problem. I'm training for a marathon. 6 weeks into a 16 week plan. And generally it's been going well. Although I have missed some sessions albeit for legitimate reasons. But that's just the point; I can always make a reason for missing a session but really mostly it's excuses. I'd never miss my long run. It would be too many miles to miss in a week. But when it comes to other sessions I'm not so consistent. And the ones I miss the most are the technical speed sessions. I suppose I think they are the least important but while actually doing one today I realised how important they are. They are in the plan for a reason so who am I to decide to skip them? I've missed 3 out of 6 of them for various reasons and 2 other sessions on days before them meaning ...

I'm sitting here at11.25pm eating a banana and a dry pancake, the left overs of my meticulously planned breakfast I forced down 18 hours ago. 2 hours ago I could barely hold onto the day any more with a deep wave of tiredness I've rarely felt before. Now I'm jolted awake with strange feelings all over my body and bouncing sore legs. I'm not sure why they are bouncing but they cannot stay still. Today I competed an Ironman 70.3 Dun Laoghaire. At the time of finishing it felt ok. Only ok. I'm not sure why or what I expected but I didn't get it. Possibly deflated. The day started at 5am with the aforementioned breakfast and porridge forced down with what turned out to be too strong coffee resulting (along with the nerves) four bouts of what I only wanted one of. So much for being worried about that. The first decision of the day; choosing the portaloos with the shortest queues. Nailed it, with still time to strap my nutrition, don the wetsuit and stroll yo the ...

I find it hard to keep up a blog and as with most things it down to mindset. When things are fantastic I've no time to write and when things are bad or tough well, I'm just too embarrassed or guilty. What's the point. It's sounds stupid but it's honest. The last few weeks have been tough. Life and work have been busy. The snow arrived and time was lost and excuses made. That's all normal I assume. Getting into a solid training streak is so important. And I did have one good week. But to be honest I've fallen out of love with swimming, unable to muster the energy and time to cycle and generally regretting all things triathlon. I find myself wishing I should have stuck with running and wondering what I could have achieved if I'd stuck it out. But I've made my decision and for now at least until August and the Half I'm going to have to stick to it. I've gotten a coach to make my training sessions have more purpose and direction. Also I want t...

I rarely write off the cuff preferring to plan my story, carefully forming and editing in the hope of making an interesting read and generally inspiring or motivating others. But tonight is different. Ive just left the pool having completed my swim test and in doing so - my longest ever swim of 1500m. I don't always/ever live in the moment and often spend time worrying about the past and the future. Things I can't control but can't or haven't yet is probably a more positive way of putting it figured out how to manage it all. Tonight I pushed my body further that I expected I could. Ive been very worried about tonight's session. Not sleeping properly last night and following that up with a long day worrying in work today. But tonight it was worth it all. I jumped out of the pool at the end and sat on the side to catch my breath, seeing stars but managing to stay upright I got to enjoy my self-euphoria. I was tired hunger and sore but I felt an amazing sense o...

I'm that person that gives out, bitches and moans about training but always always  fears not having enough done. But doesn't everyone? I'm hoping so. Then there's the guilt. It irks away at you. Why are you not training? You don't deserve to relax. You haven't earned it. You can't enjoy food. You haven't earned it. You can't watch a series on Netflix unless your on the turbo. You must suffer. I'm not sure where the guilt comes from or the purpose but it's tough mentally and probably not proactive. I know that. I should probably just train more. That would teach the guilt. After a 2 week break from the pool, one for illness, the second more logistical I returned this week and was looking forward to it. It had only been 2 weeks. Hardly enough time to lose any swimming fitness. Swimming fitness I'd really only gained over the previous 3 weeks so possibly a bit niave on my part. Monday night's session was grim but I powered throu...

Tonight I went to the steam room. Stay with me, this gets more interesting. I've been once again stuck down with a viral and bacteria chest infection. Having worked through my last course of steroids and antibiotics while maintaining my swimming training along with spinning and running, it seemed something was up when I relapsed only 3 days after finishing the drugs. The drugs don't work? They fecking well do. So back to the doctor and the trusty drugs while wondering how many steroids will show up in my system come 70.3 day. If I win I'll always wonder if it was the steroids. If I win? When I win. I decided this time to knock the training on the head for a week and just focus on extra sleep and feeling better. With no work next week I have plans for extra training since time allows so best be chest fit for that. But I still couldn't stay away from the gym. It's an addiction. One that takes time to grow but once you're in the groove you really miss it. ...

Its been a while since I decided to go on this Ironman journey and in that time I still cant seem to spell Triathlon right most of the time. Does that mean this is not for me I should just give up? Its a sign, a sign that if you cannot spell it, you shouldnt do it. Life lesson. Its been 6 months since I've last been on a bike and I was fearing the worst when deciding to take out the trusty steed for a quick spin on Sunday. It really didn't disappoint. The parts of me I forgot how to hurt hurt. those parts were everywhere. Turns out staying consistent has advantages. The lovely burny feeling in the quads and calves returned and it was beautiful. That feeling reminds me of fitness and I visualize that as getting fitter and getting strong. Success. Not that I can count today's cycle as success but it was a start. Just the small matter of no hills and no wind on today's route and still a struggle. A low winter sun peeped over the the hedges and empty fields aimed direct...

Why do old men always want to chat in the swimming pool? It's a not a bloody Turkish baths situation. Also in the showers. I don't need to be told that "it's nice to be under the hot water". I am under the hot water. I know its nice. All this after being told all about how hard swimming is, how hard life is, how running or walking are so hard and swimming is all he'll be able to do until he leaves this life, quote, unquote. A cheery Saturday evening all round really as the old man waits to die in the pool but is brought back to life by nice hot water. The gym closes early on a Saturday and I really didn't have time for idle life, death and hot water discussions. There was swimming to be doing or attempted anyway. Small talk aside I did achieve my 500m aim which to most swimmers probably doesn't seem like a lot but to me is amazing. Tou could say it went swimmingly. And yes by the end of the week having completed 2700m (a new weekly totals record obv...

Tonight due to a goggle malfunction, as in somehow forgetting them I was unable to swim. I did try but it's impossible to see. I switched my mind to the excuse of a recovery day. Last night's lesson and horrific sets of 100s left me wrecked. In total we completed 1100m, obviously more than I've ever completed before and it left me fecked, not so much muscle tired as tired tired. Lacking electrolytes. Similar to the after effects of a long cycle were you just want to drift off to sleep the second you get in the door. That and the continued bug I can't seem to shake off even though I'm pumped up on drugs it seems the verve were right. The drugs dont work, they just make you worse so go to the doctor and get yourself sorted out. Or similar. This feeling of very very tired continued today, and with added blocked sinuses pressure I decided to opt for a long steam room session to attempt to clear my sinuses and get some stretches done on my calves and quads. Given the ...

I smell of Chlorine. I really smell of Chlorine. I used to smell of BO but now it's consistently the stink of swimming pool chlorine. The wonderfully horrible stink of swimming pool, which can only mean one thing. I've been consistent, and to me now that smell is the smell of success, the smell that I am getting somewhere, putting in the hours and actually feeling like I'm improving. I even sweat now when I finish in the pool. Which is odd but strangely satisfying. I never knew I could do that. Another achievement. I am more confident in my stroke. Breathing to the right is somewhat successful and even though only 3 short weeks ago I was fully sure that breathing on every second stroke was too much for me it turns out is perfect. And guess what you go faster and are less tired! Who knew. Slowly but surely the jigsaw is coming together, the breathing, the arm strokes and the kick. There still is, and I assume always will be a lot of tweaking but for now, I'm relatively...

Tonight I am more tired than I possibly have ever been. And it's a strange tiredness. It's not muscle soreness tiredness. It's just full run down can barely stay awake will fall over when standing up relaxed tiredness. But it feels great. It feels like success. Like I'm getting somewhere. That or I'm just delusional and really tired. Swimming was good tonight. Breathing is easier and less paniced as is my stroke. I spend less time thinking about breathing as if that's normal and more on perfecting my glide and reach. High elbow. Always high elbows. It just goes to show that we don't always need to do something new. You don't always need to see improvements or push yourself so far that you end up hating whatever it is you are doing. Tonight was just that. Hard work, consistency and going the same thing over and over made the difference over the last few weeks. Like riding a bike when you're five. You just keep going and going and going. Rar...

While out running this afternoon I listened to a podcast that inspired me. Ironically it was about the difference, or shift change from being inspired to putting that inspiration into an action and therefore more than just an idea. This is me. This is totally me. I get inspired all the time. Its great. You'd love it. I get excited. I read the entire internet on the chosen subject (currently, obviously Triathlon). I question friends who know more than me. I buy lots of books and read bits of them. I research gear and equipment. I check prices. I check bank balance. I search for better prices. And then I get inspired by something else and I start all over again. Its great fun but the main problem is never getting anything done. Don't get me wrong I have done stuff but today really struck a cord that the research, the gear, others peoples opinions are not pretty much unimportant if they do not mean anything to you. I mean me. To me. So really this needs to be about me doin...

I need to be consistent yet not obsessive. Not at the start anyway.  My usual habit is start strong, do too much, get injured or busy with life and not train enough. Then "Get through" an event. Not exactly giving your all. So consistency. Slow steady not overdoing it training. Focus on the swimming. Get that right. The technique. The economy. The speed. The water fitness.  And swim as many days as possible. I suppose what I find hard is what I learn in swim lessons is hard to practise when I can't see what I'm doing wrong. But I'm thinking it. And trying to be slower. More controlled. Also like a strange person I am watching everyone else swim and picking out the good ones. The ones with a good reach stroke. The ones who's arms move slow yet they are flying. The ones with the perfectly bent elbows only out of the water a short time. And then on the days life won't let me swim. I'll run. Short steady distances and only increase gradually. Wo...

I've only gone and entered an Ironman 70.3 That's a half Ironman. Basically too much swimming too much cycling and a half marathon. I can't exactly explain why I've entered. And now I'm very much wondering why. It wasn't a childhood dream. It's not something I've only just realised existed. I've known about them for years now. But there was never an interest. It was always something other people did and I thought wow, swimming. I hate swimming. Always have. Probably because I'm crap at it. And it seems so hard but so does everything when your crap at it. A late start to swimming and I'm not even sure I ever learnt properly. Also some bad memories of being held under water as a teenager. Poor me. So with a general hate for swimming yet a jealous "I wish I could" vibe I entered a Dun Laoghaire Ironman 70.3 with little regard for the course details. Main reason was its nearness, as in not abroad. I'm not ready to go abroad an...

So here I am again with something to say. But in reverse, kinda. I'll explain later. Ive decided to venture further again into the world of the unknown, unkind and very scary. Plenty of fear will drive me forward. This is all simple to previous stories although in the end brief from the previous ventures into the w200 as told here. While just rediscovering those adventures I have realised that I never finished the story. As previously stated wheres the time to blog when things are good. Again the mindspeak always attacks when times are tougher. You can take from that that w200 went really well completing in just over 8 hours and generally enjoyed the climbs in a strange sadistic way while dropping both my riding partners and enjoying long breaks at the tops in the rain in the morning and the blistering sun in the afternoon. It really was a day of two halves. and when I finished I thought that wasn't too bad I could have gone faster. But then again I waited for my riding c...